It's that moment,
at 2:00 AM that I fear.
It's that precise moment,
when I haven't eaten for what feels like years.
I feel myself growing weary,
but I don't sleep.
Instead,
I drown.

I drown myself in the tears of my own sorrow.
I drown myself thinking,
"Was there anything else I could have done?"

After hours of this one person pity party,
I think,
"They were right all along."

I fear this moment the most,
not for myself,
but others.
I fear that one day,
this precise moment,
will eventually make my pain go away.