This world disgusts me

This world disgusts me because
when I see my best guy friend cry
I get weirded out
Not because guys crying is weird
but because I've always been told
they don't

this world disgusts me because
when I mention to my brother
that girls liking girls
is okay
he lists all the reasons
Jesus says it isn't

This world disgusts me because
I have to text one of my best friends
and make sure she ate today
because she wants to lose
ten pounds
and she'd give anything to do that

This world disgusts me because
when I sit in my
French class
and the teacher makes eye contact with me
and sees that I am crying
he keeps teaching, parce que c'est la vie

This world disgusts me because
when my chemistry teacher
looked at me and my friend goofing around
he assumes we don't feel the "academic stress"
when I cry over my grades three times a week
but he didn't ask me about that

This world disgusts me because
my brother, the same one as before,
refuses to call someone
we know
by their chosen name and pronouns
because "it's a free country"

This world disgusts me because
when I switch effortlessly between
sobbing and looking fine
my teacher calls me
"The finest actress he's ever seen" but
doesn't ask why I hide my emotions so easily

Disgusting