Reprimanded by blood
Such words stung like a blade
Embedded in my mind
Tearing me to pieces
Falling away
To a great depths

Desiring so badly
To take a sip
Of the escaping nectar
Alas
Having vowed to never do so again
Not doing so in reality
But in my mind
To be drunk in my mind
Sharing such desires to a trusted one
Speech of this thing
Terrible for doing so

What a way to live
Allowing myself to imagine such
Become so monstrous
To a point
Where I am able to sink so low
To return to zero
No longer behind a mask
Yet still in part

Internally
Crying out rivers
Seas of emotion so strong
The power of a tempest
Rocking me
Tossing me
Between the waves
Relentlessly
Unforgiving

Aching in my chest
Somewhere in my center
A placed called the heart
I presume

Consuming me
Is this pain
Threatening to control
Command
Yet
Here I am
Ordering myself
Fighting against this
This demon and the rest of them
In my head
Barely able to survive

- Jay M
November 10th, 2019