You told me you were an abandoned building Left rotting in the sun Elements creeping in On your walls and foundation Tearing down your roof and structure I am not so Come with me I will show you myself
In the skeleton of my head Ceramic figures sit Silent, sentient On cobweb shelves Pictures of you hang on the walls Nailed into a flesh colored wallpaper *****, coffee stained carpeting Leading from the attic of my mind Down the back of my skull Vertebrae circular staircases Winding down and around Through floors and floors Of keratin wainscoting Dusty shelves overcrowded with books and trinkets Plastic dinosaurs and matchbox cars A room full of doll houses Plastic mommies and daddies Driving four seater lithium battery powered doll cars Cooking over two burner stoves with imitation heat Playing pretend, I know this game best
Rooms with filing cabinets stacked up to the ceiling When you pull out the drawers Files and paperwork going back and back and back Blue crayon bills of sale Newspapers and emails color coded for different emotional reactions Red folders with locks, chains, and warning signs CAUTION FLAMABLE
Rooms empty of windows ***** of string for dust bunny cats Baby teeth still tethered to the end Strung between doorknobs and skeletons The last flight of stairs Leads straight down to a flooded basement Salt water filling up cracks in the concrete Bulkhead door latched shut A femur stuck between the handles You'd have to break a bone to escape
You follow your nose down passages With markings saying 'connect here' Finding comfort In the smell of sage burning in between hip bones Incense rising through chimney stacked ribs Puffing out through a nasal passage
A few levels above Curtains and blinds piled on top of each other Trying to block out light Pouring in through two blue tinted windows Hollowed out, stained glass eyes
Mute little birds fly around in a tiny menagerie Tiny parchment paper scrolls attached to their ankles House arrest thoughts Sometimes little rivers over flow Down a façade of brick walls into little wells To dry to hold wishes
In the right wing Traveling down the arm Little passage ways with doors Swinging open and shut Little electric trains blowing stops and whistles Running around and around Five little engines Puffing out coal and smoke Until they hole themselves up In tunnels at night
In the left wing Plates and dishes smashed on the floor Ceramic shards rearrange themselves Into mosaics and pictographs Sliding around on metal tiles Until they grind themselves into a fine powder Slipping though the floor Little skin cells flaking off the siding
Dry scratching noises echo through the tunnel Back to the skull At the very crown of the building Rope makers work tirelessly every day Stitching brown threads into the ceiling Packing insulation tight in perfect rows Until the rain comes in and washes them out Trying to weatherproof roofing shingles That act as if they are no thicker than coffee filters
Sometimes the power surges to quickly Everything goes dark Batteries overheat Unable to remember which switch to flip Which circuit breaker to fix Which wires to cut, splice, and fuse the ends Where to put the band-aids so they will stick Until they get wet A four battery chamber transformer Inducting molecules, protons, electrons Gassing up to restart Not knowing which end goes to which side How to get the cover back on So I don't electrocute myself Fry the circuits, start a fire
I end up Sitting in the dark, alarm blaring Emergency sprinkler system going off Making puddles of tears To drown out my fears All wired up Overloading and burning out Turn the wind turbines on Let them dry up the mess Blowing fresh air through stale lung chambers
The ache in my stomach refuses to part with me Empty shelves in the pantry Don't cry over spilled milk Tear up, when there is none to spill Empty glass jars sitting in boiling water All jammed up Refusing to cook Because one time The gas was, accidentally Left running, on the burner Fear is a smell I would prefer die without tasting A tasteless life no sweeter
I close the doors. Oaken ribcage of my halls swing shut. Hinges creaking under the strain I remember why I don't let anyone in It's to cold in here for me To quiet for them Hating how I feel When left lonely Without a friend If the dark is all I now how can I fear it I am not near it Becoming what I always knew I was Not a single cut above, or below Not a mark uncounted I am the one who makes flowers grow On the inside of the earth Down below Down I go To dance after death
If you relate to any part of this please leave a comment. <3