it's quite

unfair

isn't it?

you're just used to this kind of thing already.

this isn't your first gig.

you've done this several times already.

you've liked someone before

you've flirted with someone before

you've been on dates before

you've kissed girls before

you've been with someone before

you've broken up with girls before

you've already done this before.

what about me?

this was my first gig and i can't help but


still think about it.


it's already been like

what?

almost

five months now

since we've happened.

how are you dealing with this?

knowing you

you've most likely already forgotten about it.

you're completely over it like you are with the other girls.

i can't say i hate you for it.

if anything, i commend you and i genuinely wish i could do

the same thing.

i'm still kinda stuck in limbo.

thinking about how you first kissed me in the movie theater.

it was dark

only the screen to illuminate us.

then you kissed me once

and asked for another afterwards.

you're a charmer, you know?

of course you do, your ego reminds you everyday.

maybe i should hate you because of that.

because of your overinflated ego.

but i can't.

i really can't.

why can't i?

i say i'm over it, but i'm here writing about it.

if only you broke up with me for something else.

something i could despise you for and instantly forget that


we


ever happened.

but that didn't happen.

you broke up with me for something reasonable.

and until now, you continue to stay with me and support me in my endeavors

and i tend to do the same.

like i owe it to you or something.

i do.

you've helped me through so much.

i just wish i could forget that

we

were ever really a thing.

it's revolting to just

constantly

be bombarded with the past

while you get to act like it never happened.

you're good at this, aren't you?

you've mastered

moving on.

while i'm left to deal with the remnants of something

that has long happened.

it's really just

unfair.