Sep 2019
i always get the same gift,
just wrapped in different paper.
i pause, i listen,
respond, honestly.
i pause, reach out,
remember, i love you.
i pause, awake early,
you rise, feast on my labor.
i pause, i pay,
open wallet, for our memories.
i pause, remember you,
a simple gift, out of love.
i pause, i pause, i pause.
i pause to give,
give all of what i have,
to love you, care for you,
to bring a smile to your face.
my pauses become longer,
my body becomes weaker,
my heart becomes depleted,
my mind becomes scattered,
& im exhausted.
so tired that my eyebags have eyebags,
my tears like a dried up lake,
my heart shriveled & empty.
i gave all of me, all i had.
every pause belonged to you.
but none belonged to me.
you look confused,
upset, hurt.
you scoff, angry,
that i have become empty.
you think i am neglecting you,
i try to pause for me.
you accuse me of selfishness,
accuse me of manipulation.
you say my pauses were calculations,
that i am only there when i need something.
but i never needed anything,
just for you to...
pause.
the gift i get, is all the same
just wrapped in different papers.
leeches, vampires, vacuums,
anything to **** my heart dry.
yet told that i should be grateful,
for receiving a gift at all.
but all my pauses are gifts,
gifts of all i have to offer.
to give a smile,
is sometimes all i have in me.
but i will give it freely anyway.
but no one pauses for me,
they just keep on walking.
taking with them,
fragments of me.
just wrapped in different paper.
i pause, i listen,
respond, honestly.
i pause, reach out,
remember, i love you.
i pause, awake early,
you rise, feast on my labor.
i pause, i pay,
open wallet, for our memories.
i pause, remember you,
a simple gift, out of love.
i pause, i pause, i pause.
i pause to give,
give all of what i have,
to love you, care for you,
to bring a smile to your face.
my pauses become longer,
my body becomes weaker,
my heart becomes depleted,
my mind becomes scattered,
& im exhausted.
so tired that my eyebags have eyebags,
my tears like a dried up lake,
my heart shriveled & empty.
i gave all of me, all i had.
every pause belonged to you.
but none belonged to me.
you look confused,
upset, hurt.
you scoff, angry,
that i have become empty.
you think i am neglecting you,
i try to pause for me.
you accuse me of selfishness,
accuse me of manipulation.
you say my pauses were calculations,
that i am only there when i need something.
but i never needed anything,
just for you to...
pause.
the gift i get, is all the same
just wrapped in different papers.
leeches, vampires, vacuums,
anything to **** my heart dry.
yet told that i should be grateful,
for receiving a gift at all.
but all my pauses are gifts,
gifts of all i have to offer.
to give a smile,
is sometimes all i have in me.
but i will give it freely anyway.
but no one pauses for me,
they just keep on walking.
taking with them,
fragments of me.
