when I'm down and when I mean really down, I become numb. I get lost in my thoughts and my feelings are caught in a tug of war. I want to feel something so bad and alot of the times the bad feelings are the best for feeling.

I'm on the brink of collapse.. The thought of relapse sounds so sweet..

I put a lock on my heart and hope that I'll keep the best parts of me together. but Im steadily losing my sanity, I begin to shake and tear up and before I realise it, my pent up feelings are slowly leaking and polluting those around me.

I know it's bad to bottle up your emotions but you know it's not easy to face the sadness inside you. Im not ready to embrace reality. I just want my emotions to go away or even die slowly...

Im tired of hearing my own thoughts because they taunt me and haunt me of the things Ive done and the things I've lost.

Death has seeped into my mind and his words tempt to calm the storm inside me.

-SS