why does no one talk about how scary recovery is
Like being mentally ill is not fun
But I also am terrified to get better because I don’t know
Who I am without depression
I don’t know who I am without self harm
My personality is mentally ill

This is all I've ever know
Self harm is my favorite blanket
Depression is comfort food
And anxiety is the love of my life

And I don’t understand how there are people
Who can get out of bed every morning
How people can be social and not feel
Like a volcano is being forced down their throat  
How people can just raise their hand in class
It just sounds fake and impossible to me

So idk know if I really want to get better  
Because I don't know who I am without this