I hate the rain.

It’s been raining all day and each drop tears me up

a little more.

When I think of rain, I think of regrets…

because I start remembering-

everything.

From back to when I didn’t have memories…

to now.

And now my mind is too full of them.

I remember leaving that building and sitting in that car.

You were there, well,

Back then you were.

I remember you standing right in front of me.

Sometimes I think if I just visualize the moment enough I can

reach back and pull you out of it.

And maybe then you would still be here.

With me.

But that’s just mere wishing isn’t it?

Because you’re gone and you're never going to come back.

And everyone says it’s for the good but how good could it be if you

ended up leaving me anyway?

Just like I thought you would.

And from a young age that was my fear

Of being left behind-

Because I never wanted to be alone.

I never wanted to be alone.

But you were standing there and the look on your

face said it all.

It told me that it was all over.

And not even just that,

It told me that you were disappointed.

That I had failed somehow.

And I think that’s what hurt the most.

Because that was all.

I don’t remember what you said to me.

I don’t remember what you did after that.

But

Oh, do I remember the rain so clearly.

And that look where your eyes wrinkled and your nose stiffened.

And my stomach hurt.

And the rain was pouring around us as you stared at me.