I feel pain everyday
A mental collapse inside my brain
My mind just isn’t the same

I’ve become a sad version of myself
I no longer enjoy the things
That used to bring me joy everyday

I no longer have a reason to wake in the morning from my slumber
Sometimes I wish before I drift off to sleep
That I may not wake in the morning

My wishes go unanswered...

I continue to rise into each day
Succumbing at the very end and praying that I wouldn’t have to start over again the next day
And so I do

I wake only to wish for the night again
I contemplate the purpose of continuing it
What is stopping me from stopping me?
Only the what ifs

What if it gets better
What if one day I no longer cry
What if I no longer crave the pain to cease
And it simply isn’t there
What if one day I no longer want to stop breathing
Or stop my heart from beating
Or contemplate ceasing

What if I want to live

My thoughts are plagued by neverending hopelessness of an even worse tomorrow
I tell myself that it doesn’t get better
So it mustn’t

My hope died a long time ago
Along with my carefree soul
And passionate heart
It ceased

So I must cease along with it
I must become forgotten
I must be no longer.