The day I found out about you I was terrified. How was I exposed to be a mom? The day I saw your heart beat I was terrified. How could something so small change your whole life? The day I felt you move inside me I was terrified. How can one little flutter of movement make me doubt everything I’ve ever known? But those fears ment nothing compared to the day I felt the pain. 23weeks 4 days That’s how long I thought I felt fear. The day you came into the world was the day I felt real fear. How can the pain I felt mean absolutely nothing as long as you took your first breath? How is it I couldn’t keep you inside me where you belonged a little while longer? How come I never got to hear the voice of the one person who changed my whole world? How is it fair that I watched you die when I would have given my soul to make you live? How do I go on without you in my life? How do I breath without you when you can’t take a breath again? How do I live now when I feel nothing because you were my everything? You taught me what true terror feels like. HOW DO I LIVE NOW?!?