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Feb 2019
I hate the sun today because I feel like she betrays me,
Clearing the snow, making the birds sing, shining brightly into my bedroom
While my body is raining tears like a waterfall and my chest feels heavy and grey
How can such a bad day be so beautiful?
I am angry at the weather because it’s been raining for weeks
And now that you’re gone the air is dry and humid again
I cannot grasp the irony of this.
All I wanted for you was just another beautiful day to live
No more dark clouds and ***** snow
Just one more ray of sunshine touching your face through the window
Just one more morning coffee on the balcony, mild spring temperatures and crocuses.
One more of our Sunday strolls without an umbrella
One more night with our summer bed sheets.
I want to close the windows and bury myself under pillows
I want the birds to shut up
I want the weather to act appropriately
I want you to be here again, because it’s such a beautiful day and I can’t take it alone.
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