In the darkness within the light
I cry.
This shield from the world smells of you.
I can feel you there,
From miles away,
Staring at me.
You wonder why this is happening,
Wonder why I’m sad.
I’m not sad, I’m angry.
I’m angry at him for trying to stay,
I’m angry at you for causing this pain.
I’m angry at everyone I’ve ever known.
I hate my parents for breathing life into a soul that should have been
Extinguished.
More than that, I’m angry with myself.
Why do I allow myself to make these decisions?
Whose idea was it to give me power over myself?
Free will? It’s a prison.
I want nothing but to be rid of it.
Please, let me sleep.
I only want to sleep.
Yet I continue to breathe you in.
You are sodden with my sadness, I am broken again.