(W = Anonymous Elderly Woman With Sudden and Severe Dementia)
---
W:
"I was an evil little girl".
I used to stick my tongue out at little boys. They would say,
"SHE STUCK HER TONGUE OUT AT ME".
Then the teachers would always say,
"Young man, she is a respectable young lady and has done no such thing".
So I'd put my thumb to my nose and make faces as they sat".
"My grandmother always raised us to be "GOOOD" "GOOOD" and I was goood.
It was so boring.
They used to get so frustrated with me".
"I was so proud of my father.
Everywhere he went he had to fix people.
He changed things
nomatter where he'd go. He always said
"I CAN MAKE IT BETTER FOR THEM.
IT CAN BE BETER".
He never loved me. Didn't have time. I should call him.
I want to call my father"
Me:
"Did he ever self-actualize and realize that he was making their lives /his version/ of better? Before he died, did he realize maybe what he thought was better wasn't better for everyone?"
W:
"No.
He was a tsunami that changed everything he touched. We girls
respected him.
Listen to me, hah.
talking about such things, on a toilet.
I have no dignity left.
We have to laugh.
Am I crazy?
Me:
"You're no more crazy than I am.
Who wants to be sane? That's no fun".
W:
"That's right!
If you can't laugh,
you die".
Me:
"Earlier, to describe yourself
as a child, you said
you were "Evil".
Do you beleive that part of the reason you were so "evil"
was because you were beautiful?
And you knew it?".
W:
She paused for a moment and pursed her lips in contemplation.
...
"Yes."
The woman nods a slow turtles nod, with both eyes shut and squinting and a pouted mouth.
Her puckered lips fade into a smile.
"Yes, absolutely It was".