grab a pen and paper
now write at the top of the paper, "things I  want"
list all of the things you desire. Money aside, reality aside, what is it that you truly want.
next write " things I need"
and list the things that keep your heart beating. the things that make you get up every morning. your hopes and dreams, your ambition.

now compare.

are the things you need lining up with the things you want?
does what make you want to be better also want you want to be?
ask yourself, "is this how i want to live"