I've run a marathon of emotion              
my heart can't catch a breath
            insides twist dramatically
                                lungs feeling empty yet dense

blood drained from my face to my stomach
a lump of fear makes home in my throat            
my brain is all but a bipolar muscle                          
anxiety climbing an unsteady *****                                    

are the walls as close as they appear to me?            
       my organs compacting and imploding  
                 squished by the pressure of the deep sea
                                 I open my lungs and gasp for salvation
                                             succumbing to the bitter waters of anxiety


god
must                                                                  
  be                          
                              sadistic                                            
                                               just
                                                                           as
                         he
is


distant