I was so broken
the cracks in my heart went so deep
deeper than the ocean
all I did was sleep

I wanted to sleep my pain away
sometimes I still want to
but I don't
because im trying to better my life,
keep my **** organised,
stay away from my knifes

but last weekend I was alone
not lonely, but alone
I was connecting to my body again
nobody was there to judge the things that I did
I was laying in the grass
looking at the trees
meditating, streching, praying, painting
all the things I like to do but I'm scared to
scared that people judge me doing them

but in that moment
after the weekend reconnecting with myself
I finally felt happy
my cracks were filling up with joy
I couldn't sleep because I couldn't stop smiling

that moment
that short moment
I will never forget
I finally felt hope again