I don't know how is it possible that I keep seeing you in places and in people you can not be.
Today I picked a scenary similar to when we first got faded together.
I tried to push you out of my mind by having Rihanna (one of my  alter egos when I get high) tell me: 'Nahh girl, you will have a ******' happy trip and sorry but this ***** is killing your vibe!'
And Riri rarely speaks.
She liked you. She didn't like anyone.
So I tried to stop picking on the fresh wound in my soul
But you are still there painfully enough.
The first wave hit me and I was out.


I looked at that girl, much different looking than you, start to change.
Suddenly she had your fingers then she put on your face
then your short Harry Potterish hair
and lastly your beautiful eyes.
I will try to not forget them. I promise.
I probably didn't mean to you not even as close like you did to me so why are you showing yourself in MY mind?
Did I matter after all?
Or am I delusional and my sick brain is a Joker's playground?

I feel like I really did love you.
Like for real real.
Because you've inhabited the inside of my ribcage ever since I laid my eyes on you.
Maybe that wasn't some ordinary love because you were never ordinary.
You were a miracle.

In my dreams, you told me how your god now is the devil himself and it struck me how happy you seemed.
And all I ever wanted is for you to be truly happy forever...
So I stopped praying for your mercy.
I've seen you happy for the first time and it doesn't seem like you need it.

3 months since you've been gone
And your demons are now my roommates.