It's been two months since I last heard from you. I hate this new age of virtual communication. We weren't dating but we were Strangers who knew everything about the other. I have your words typed and spoken.
Your history of abuse, and mine, Made the strongest cocktail. It was my mistake, The reason it failed I let you in to explore the real me, Masks aside when You held me close and tore me open, All flesh and blood You left me with words unspoken A mistake I'll never make again.
Your love and interest in me has been replaced. You knew me; No one knew me like you did You told me I could be loved; You gave me a taste I now believe the lies my brain tells me I am unlovable, it's true, I fear Despite the times you said I wasn't Because if it weren't true, you'd still be here
I lay here thinking about my life and what I've become I have no one. I had you. I mean nothing to you. Message received I hear you, loud and clear Loud and clear I will be nothing but a bitter memory soon enough
My diagnosis and the disorders have taken a back seat I've always wanted to fall in love; But when I did, I didn't realize Sometimes love is a one way street You've left and now I see no meaning If there was a God, I suppose he'd know this feeling
Does anything matter? When we were, everything was depressing but you made it seem better. Now we aren't, and the depression seems like its ***** old menacing self. My identity is mine, Yours is yours Yet I feel like some part of me has died and has now begun to rot.
Soon the rotten smell will go away. The memories will fade; Bones will turn to mud. When we cease to exist, It will be as it was; As if it never were. Just as you incessantly insist.
If I could muster the courage to ask you for a second chance, I would. But I used what was left of it; Bleeding in the tub, where I lay Eyes open, speakers moaning - Unlovable by The Smiths