I've done a lot..... I've done a lot in my lifetime..... I've done a lot in the past 11 months... I've felt even more... I've made decisions.... I've made mistakes.... I've created conclusions and shoved them in the mirror's reflection. I've made a finalization... I've terminated the story... I've concluded this connection.
Now I'm alone... Now I feel like excess emotions left in a puddle to be stepped in and splashed in, for fun or dismay. -a muddy disgrace of distaste. -a muddy reflection of disgust. -a distraction on the path to your destination.
I feel sick... Sick to my stomach Sick in the Mind... Sickly branches that creep out from my heart, determined to entomb my entire internal system, and hold me there to deal with what level I've continued to stoop myself too. Myself... the one that's so much better than what she's encountered and how she's figured her future. I deserve what I have, and what I choose. I deserve what I get, for what I've chosen.
I'm throwing up... I'm throwing up everything... everything that my heart has eaten right out of the palms of those who've given it to me. I don't wanna feel it anymore.... I don't want that pressure forced on my stomach any longer. I'm sick... I'm sick again. Its all coming up.... I'm letting it out... all the emotions that so rightfully belong on the floor in a jumbled mess rather then crammed in my stomach where they explode with temptation as my stomach thrusts itself in circles.... its looking for a way to let everything go. My body knows whats right.... I'm emotionally anorexic. I throw it all away without wanting to let it go, I would rather keep everything that reminds me of that time, that time when my stomach did not churn in agony...
I am miserable.... I am mistaken.... and misjudged...
I am sick... and distracted... I'm... lost?
Lost in the mirrors and fine lines... fine lines between punishment and disabilities... I can see myself.... I see myself pale and done. Done with everything I'm hearing and thinking right now. I've gone too far. I'm done.