i did it,
i finally got what i wanted

(or, what i told myself
time and time again
that i wanted
needed,
deserved,
— because you're right
i was afraid).

i've never been able to write anything
beautiful about you.
not when i was happy with you
at least.

i'm not sure why.
i don't have a clue,
but maybe it was the universe
giving me a sign.

you're wonderful --
a sweetheart, really and truly.
i never knew someone's eyes
could shine so effervescently blue,
and deep too.

but you weren't the one.
you couldn't have been.

i wish i didn't
mistake someone who
liked me
and would put up with me
singing out loud in the car
and sleeping all day
with the one.

you won't come back.
i know it this time.

you blocked me from your memory
completely and wholly
got rid of me.

(it was my idea;
i have to remind myself)

i'll send your things
and you'll send mine.
this wasn't supposed to be
a love story for all time.

just another failed relationship
like the last one, and the one before that.
i was too much,
you not enough,
complications arose,
and we fell flat.

you already have someone.
he's wonderful too.
i lose them all, push them away.
i wish i didn't,
nut i do.

can we go back to the
snowy night where the world changed?
you don't sound like you want to
well — things can't stay the same

can they?