Can't sleep without it
can't live with it either
beautiful pleasure and guilt,
that lingers each time
I close my mouth, eyes wide. Shut

it's not that I love it
it loves me more than I have it
brings me close with it's claws
tears unfold while it goes
and I don't ,

I don't want to do this anymore .

silent prayers to the gods that I'd let it go
and mercies to my mother that she'd never get to know,
her little baby is no more.

All is left is shame ,flying high
with the hope
that no one ever knows
and that these walls forever more,
keep a secret or watch it all unfold.