you aren’t here anymore
thought they say you haven’t been for a while
not since poppa went home
he stays where flowers zenith and the sun never comes down anyway
i loved you before the lights went out
perhaps i only did because i had to
there were always no flights to catch, for you and i both
5300 miles away couldn’t keep us apart anyway
i still keep the sweater you knitted me when i was 5
tucked in with all my hopes of you watching me grow up
you were all the warmth i needed here
coursing through, becoming the angel in my bloodstream
think i love you even more, it’s easier for you to see me now anyway
but still so hard for me
didn’t see your open casket
but you never saw me in my mothers blanket
i wanted to be the last face you saw
perhaps you wanted to be my first
i still **** my father for this
but it’ll be the exact same cycle when he leaves
i still carry you in my name
June was never summer in New Zealand
but it didn’t need to be
you were always more beautiful
a sight for sore eyes
one i didn’t see too often
visit me tonight, one last time
i want you to tell me what it’s like up there
if it’s really what they say
if it’s really the better place they say it is
as if they knew anything about what you were truly like
but then again
neither did i