I've had people ask before,
"What was that scar from?"
then a,
"Why did you do it?"

Why,
why,
why,
why,
why?

That question mulls itself
over and over
in my mind like a mantra,
until my brain becomes dizzy.

Why did I?  
Why am I?

To feel?  
To distract?
To numb?

I have no direct answer,
only a question for their question.

Then, I realize
this might be the only thing
I am completely unsure of
about myself.