I immortalized
all of yourself
&
all of me in pen, in ink,
bled it all into the digital machine’s
white screen
there’s snow on the ground
endless stark white
the twinkling dying gleam of Christmas lights on my lawn

somewhere your lawn is bereft.
somewhere your everything is bereft too.

There is the feel of your fingers
on my heated skin
Your palms cupping my face
On either side of my cheek

There is the flecks of dust motes
Settling on my eyelashes
The blotches of night
Melting all around us

Your blanket a backdrop of linen on the canvas
of your king-sized bed
There’s the distant blaring of sirens
Police cars speeding down the street

There’s the insistent howling and
S
h
a
r
p

d
I
s
s
o N
A
NT

bark of your dog

–

There is your voice
Gentle in the newness of the night
“You’re so pretty, you know that?”
Rhetorical
Two years
and here we are

It’s the same book, darling
The same story
The same tragic end
There is me: the ******* her pills
There is you: the man-boy who wants so desperately to love

All we have is the trappings of body heat
Our flesh
Your fingertips turning me to ash
Reviving the flame around my body
Only to burn me all over again

All I have are the seemingly endless poems
Your soul
Your smile
The brightness of your hazel eyes
Trapped in the words
F
or
ever
more

This
These words
All for you

I immortalized all of yourself
&all of me in pen, in ink
And then in blood

Sealed it in this digital machine
Sealed it in this dark ritual
Emptied it along with the last pill bottle

The girl who takes pills no longer
The man-boy still
searching
in the peat-darkness, the bright sky of stars,
for love
In memorandum