my rabbit heart it pounds and pounds
I am tiny and frightened in the grass
they will catch me they will catch me they will catch me
catching means fury and pain
and something worse -
but I don't even know what

I have to
cover my tracks
I have to
run run run
I have to
freeze
hold my breath
pray
as my heart pounds
loud enough to hear

I make my nest
of chosen family
chosen interests
chosen self
and I dig and I cover
and I hide hide hide
throw them off the scent
have I said too much?
is it over?
do they smell the trail?

my rabbit nose can smell things and
my rabbit ears can hear things and
my rabbit eyes can see things
that lead straight to my nest

but my rabbit heart doesn't know
how much the foxes know

I imagine all the ways the foxes will smell and hear and see
and catch me, corner me
and I cannot escape
and it is not a dream this time
I am in their jaws and it is over

that is what my rabbit heart imagines
and why it pounds pounds pounds
one smell left out of place
and they sniff it out and come for me
and I am so small and so helpless

I am fast and jumpy
and that has saved me
time and time again
but what about this time?
when will my luck run out?

I am quick and clever
but they have teeth and hunger

-

what is it like
to not fear like this?
to have a lion heart?
to walk in the world
with something other than freezing and trembling
and a heart that pounds in fear

what is it like
to not even be a lion, no
nothing so grand
but a pet rabbit
who knows only safety
who is anxious in his nature
but has never seen a fox
never kept a nest of secrets
never been so close to death
just from a pounding fearful heart

I wish I knew