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Dec 2017
Why do i feel so alone?
Why does it feel like nobody cares?
They say they do, but they don't act like it.
They don't show it.
I want to feel loved.
I want to be important to someone.
I want to be able to love someone
without getting hurt.
Not physically hurt.
Much worse.
I have more scars than there are to be seen.
Not all of them are visible
Not all of them are touchable.
Not all of them can be healed.
But each of them are on the inside.
Each one is different than the next.
Some deeper than others.
Each one tears me up inside.
I cry for relief.
I cry for the pain to go away.
I cry to be loved,
I cry alone.
No one can hear me.
I cry inside.
I cry by myself,
to myself,
No one sees it,
I hide it well.
My smile is not real.
It's my camouflage.
They see me as fine.
That's how I want it to be.
But in truth:
im not
I never was.
Never will I be
No one can help me.
I'm too far gone.
There's no fixing this.
There's no fixing me.
Not now.
Not ever.
They broke me.
Not my heart.
Not my brain.
All that I am.
All that I was.
I'm gone.
I'm not me anymore.
I'm what's left of what I was.
My heart,
my mind,
my body.
Nothing is the same.
I've changed.
I can see that I have.
They can't.
No one can.
I hide it.
I hide it with my emotions,
my mentality,
My feelings,
all gone.
I'm empty.
There's nothing left of me now.
No hope,
No love,
No pain.
Alexandra Meelan
Written by
Alexandra Meelan  19/F
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