I sat on the edge of the bed
and I thought I loved you
I thought I loved the way your jumbled thoughts could you so perplexed that your mind would become ruins
I thought I loved you the way that a familiar scent tugs at a misplaced memory
A memory that once brought a smile to your face
I thought I loved you like I was hungry
Like if I didn't devour every last smirk
every last hair out of place
every last everything
It would dissolve into the ground and plant flowers in the neighbor's backyard
I thought I loved you like I loved myself
until I realized that "me" was still an abstract concept
one that you want to know more but it is easier to keep distance from
one that you thought you would know better by now
I thought I loved you because I missed you at three o'clock when I sat at my desk while work dragged on and so did the idea of you
I thought that wanting you was a noble thing to do
something that could make me grander and more like a story book
until I realized that I didn't want to be trapped between your pages anymore