Our first kiss was in my basement, one year,
and three hundred and forty-seven days ago,
his lips tasted like the saccharine double chocolate chunk ice cream
that he licked off my spoon just minutes ago, beard
brushing against the soft bottom of my chin,
his hand slipped
into mine as we walked away from yet another birthday celebrated,
it’s been seven since we first became friends
and his hands have finally stopped trembling.
Her eyes convey concern as her head slowly rises up from mine.
“This is a bad idea.”
In her face, against the lightly accented string lights
I see his eyes, tears welling up,
I know I can’t do this, I can’t kiss her, I can’t lose her
I can’t betray him.
I know this is wrong but
I love her and as she leans back down our lips crash together,
hers are plain, soft, safe,
When he cries, he sniffles more than he sobs, when I see him sad, powerless,
my heart cracks, I made a promise in my basement to never be the cause of this suffering,
my right hand runs through her soft hair, twirled between my *******
left hand resting on her cheek, I can feel that under her eyelid she is helpless,
I feel powerless, captivated by the twinkle in her eyes when she laughs,
I feel as though I am held hostage in her arms, yet a wave of freedom washes over me,
I don't know how I feel all I know is I don't yet want this to end,
we both want this,
yet I tell him it is my fault, I hold him close to my chest, my fingers run through
his wildly curly hair,
she pulls me closer as we continue to fight rationality,
and in this moment, we are breathing in synchrony, I taste nothing saccharine,
only feeling her soft lips and a bittersweet moment
11.6.17
edit: this poem was written as an assignment for my poetry class, in which we were told to put ourselves in the shoes of a character who had made a life changing decision that we ourselves would never make. i would never cheat, this poem was written as pure fiction with no basis in real life.