I suppose I might have liked you more before you liked me when you were a castle in the sky a faraway dream for others to have and to hold but not me certainly not me when you were a shining vision of unattainability I suppose I've always been this way always wanted more wanted what I can't have bored when I get it always wishing always wanting dragging myself through the pain in order to say "look, I survived it look, how strong I am" nevermind that I caused it so I don't know if I can deal with your sudden attainability don't know if I can coerce myself through the boredom of happiness