You tap the lights three times Because the world around you is dull And dangerous And cruel And the number three is safe And spontaneous And comforting But you look like an idiot tapping the lights three times And washing your hand five times And reciting numbers people can not hear clearly under your breath And they look at you Like the rare deformity In the city zoo Because things that are different Don't fascinate people like they should But they scare And repel And deflect others And I can't help but feel alone in a world Where the tide pushes against me Trying itβs best to get me out of their vicinity I don't mean to think over things that are dangerous and scary And I don't mean to fall into a deep hole of endless sinking But the words around me are groggy And thick Like fog On a hot humid day Itβs so thick its feels like swimming in quicksand But I don't know how to swim in quicksand And the number one rule when caught in quicksand Is to not panic Because then you will drown But no one tells me this when I need to hear it most And I am the queen of panic So I struggle And fight And flail Only to fall to an endless doom of deep dark nothing Where blood is thick like maple syrup And people are as concealed as concrete My insides turn into this consistency Of dog **** and bleach And it burns my throat And makes me cry As I choke on my thoughts Because by the time I reached the pit of the quicksand I begin to absorb it And I then become The things people call me When they are most upset with me