Ive always been drawn towards the idea if love; I'm a hopeless romantic to the core. It goes without saying thats caused me an indescribable, unconventional vast amount of pain.
Girls can be mean. Girls hurt girls.
The chances of me ever completely emotionally healing is as slim as the chance my nasal system has to recover from what i use to replace affection.

Im human, I'm an animal, a mammal, a reproductive being, its a biological addiction. I cant sleep at night when the bed is cold, i cant breath with ease when the air is sharp and lonely, i cant eat a meal if i don't have a reason other than hunger, how could I possibly?

How could i resist the warmth of soft, smooth skin, running my brittle hands gently from her neck to her hips, the taste of her lips- how they seem desperately wanting me, the sharp inhales that draw me in, the moans of "i don't think i love you but i love how you make me feel", the flesh, how your teeth grip my lips, when you gently hold my hand constantly, the way you hold me.

Im broke; emotionally, physically, mentally, financially, spiritually, yet no matter what i do i cant resist the desire to get myself hurt again- the risk of letting myself love. Im addicted to the risk.