Holding my breath
To feel being dead
My pulse kept going
Aches in my head

So anxious to feel
Yet, too scared to die
I must be going insane
Why would I lie?

When I close my eyes
Many reels play in frames
I wouldn't utter a word
I am drowning with shame

Feelings and emotions
Mixed and confused
I wish for a bitter potion
But everytime get refused

I feel empty and high
Like my brain was erased
I often wonder, why
I'm not yet deceased?

©sim