I wanted him to hold me as I cried an ocean and wept a sea.
I wanted so desperately to feel something other than this loneliness clutching and clawing at my chest but,
I lost it.
I lost the voice within me that made sense and the one that didn't and now I am all alone in this godforsaken darkness that continues to stab at me with all the memories I can't seem to shake off.
Am I as much of a burden to you, as I am to myself?
I wanted him to tell me everything was Okay. I wanted that so badly,
but he's not mine.
You're not mine, either.
The words are all I have and I can't seem to translate them into anything other than heartbreak.
I'm unsure as to how I could possibly trust, when all the pieces I handed you were left on the ground, neglected.
I wanted him to hold me, because he seemed like the type of safety that I looked for.
He looked like safety and everything that could possibly pull me out of my own sadness.
I hope he's nothing like you.
He's a breath of fresh air in this polluted, corrupt world.
He's so much more than all I am.
I think if he ever let me near him, I'd graze his skin with whatever poison resides in me.
I lost it all, even myself, I hope I don't lose him.