lucky cigarettes don’t work anymore and now i’m back to being drunk daily just like how i was when he met me. alone i revert back to bad habits that will soon be more than just side projects. beer won’t do its job anymore and i’ll be back to whiskey but i swore i wouldn’t do xanax anymore.
i carved a heart into my arm because i could hear him singing along. i look at it and smile as it made me feel. he made me feel less alone and desperate and now i’m a loose cannon and a drug machine. i can’t remember the last time i was sober.
i’m never going to stop missing him. i might get better but it won’t be soon. i’ll be dead by twenty five if i don’t end up in residential. i was in love and now he’s gone and i’m completely drunk.