After school
We'd go to yours,
Cuddle up in bed,
Breathless from head.

Bathed in your scent
& warmed to my core.
But guilt and shame battle within,
I suppose in you it came to win.

We'd smoke **** kickback
& roll around in the sheets,
Wash away sweat from each other's bodies in the shower.

But back at school you'd ignore me,
You'd laugh when your friends cornered me and called me ***.

You'd avoid eye contact while sending sweet texts,
I guess all was cool, my name on your phone book reads Harriet.

When I bumped into you at lunch, my food ended up on the floor, in the bathroom I fell to the floor locked the door and let tears pour.

Back at yours, on the same streets we've lived on for years.
"Old friends" I guess I should ignore,
Your treatment of me doesn't change.

Why can't I shake you,
Lost in fantasy,
The possibility of us.
The thought that you might love me.

We'd burn one down but this time you took my virginity,
The agony washed away by pleasure, still lost in my fantasy.

But you rolled off me,
Face contorted with disgust,
You'd barely gone cold inside me before you returned to being cold with me.