I won't tell them how much it affects me.
I won't tell them about every night I spent crying,
I won't tell them how much pain I really feel.
I'll just keep on acting like this is no big deal,
Like I'm fine and that you were just a good memory.
But at the end of the day,
My pillow is soaked,
My eyes are puffy and red.
I have to muffle my sobs for fear of someone hearing.
And when I'm calm, I lose myself to unconsciousness.

But regardless of how much I hate doing it,
And how much I want to tell them,
I know that in a few hours' time I'll be back at it:
Rereading our messages,
Recreating our phone calls in my head,
Remembering every kiss we shared.

And I'll still won't tell them.