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Jun 2017
You hide in a thin sheet of warmth,
Coloured with yellows and orange,
Of kindness, care and love.

Painting me with what I thought was festive.
Showering me with "I love you"s and concern.
(Have you eaten? How was your day?)
Did you ever truly care?

My heart constricts at the thought
Of your sweet honey coated tongue
Whispering lies into my ears for "a fun time".

Compliments, flattery and beautiful poetry,
They spilt from your mouth so easily.
Said to many people as a way to grasp
Their heart and their soul.

I'd soon have to repay tenfold
With outrageous dares.

Faking my own happiness,
To repay all your kind words such as
"You are my world."

I loved it when you said those words to me.
Every bit of flattery you've written in me,
Every bit of concern you've shown me,
Be they fake or real,
I loved it all.

But, honey, all your "I love you"s mean nothing
When you only say it after you've used me
For fun, for entertainment, for pleasure,
For yourself..

I had to say goodbye,
I was unhappy,
You loved the idea of me
That showers you with attention.

Of course, I'll miss you.
I'll miss that sweet mouth of yours,
I'll miss the romance that you showed me,
I'll miss the warmth of your (fake) concern,
I'll miss your beautiful ways to say "I love you."

But I what I won't miss is,
The way you were my puppeteer
And I was a mere doll looking for love.
The way you stroked my hair,
Only to strike with bitter requests.
The way you left me when you were done
And came back the next day for more.

I hated the warmth of your breath,
Contrast to the bleakness of your treatment.
I hated the warmth of your love,
Contrasted to the coldness of how fake it was.

I hated that.
I hated you.

But even so, oh honey..
The melancholy I feel when I cast you away,
Is beyond comprehension.

For you've played me like a game and won,
You've captured my heart and painted it black.
But you've yet to capture my wits.

I was being used.
I'm not a blind fool to what you are,
But, oh, I fell for you so hard
And now it's a farewell.

Goodbye, my love.
Goodbye, my parasite.
An older piece I thought I'd post.
Needs massive improvement.
I still have a lot of ways to go.
Maria Monte
Written by
Maria Monte  F/Philippines
(F/Philippines)   
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