i accepted the apology i never got the one that was instead replaced by a car door slamming or maybe it was glass shattering or the drone of an unanswered cell phone i cant really remember i dont miss your bladed fingertips and how they traced new blood into the scars on my skin i dont miss how you dodged bullets like hanging questions - however that saying goes its true how they say hind sight is 20/20 clarity only comes after the storm has long been passed ive never been one to long for the rain to fall across my chest because my heart stopped beating the day after the fields flooded and for the longest time, i would pass your street and imagine myself drowning in puddles and hoping that you were the one to find me face down
i used to think death would be the best payback that unsaid words would echo in your ears as you tried to fall asleep but now i take pride in the life that I'm living
the one that no longer lists you as a character
youre not even a footnote
you can question why im calling you out in one of my poems, but youre the one that told me to follow my dreams even if it hurts people.
so if youre reading this or youre out there somewhere waiting for me to drag myself through the mud to find you: *******.
i found myself and thats more important than someone who sits on the sidelines and calls himself a member of the team