i've got a weak heart with a strong heartbeat
and it's struggling to remember the thrills of affection
with out the pain of shaking, and tears and wanting
to say sorry when i did nothing wrong. i put
too much pressure on myself
and no one understands how much i love you.

it's like i'm choking on memories of boys
who aren't you and girls who don't actually want
me.

it's like the world is always telling me i can't
it's like everyone especially myself knows
i can't do this ****.

i going to bed, love.

please be there when my eyes flicker open.

and maybe our time in the light will come.