Mar 2017
The worst thing my parents ever taught me
Was to worry what other people thought of me
The worst thing to tell a child with anxiety
At the time I didn't know that it was wrong of me
To accept the burden of responsibility
For strangers who only saw a part of me
I shouldn't have put them before the thought of me
I didn't know it would be the lobotomy
That kept me hiding in my room for 10 long years
I didn't know it would ****** my autonomy
That you can't fake it 'til you make it if your introspection is an autopsy
That you can't **** a part of your soul
With whiskey or with *******
With bleach or box cutters
With street drugs, with a blind eye
Jesus loves all of the little children
And the church loves all its little saints
But when we express our love not with words but with paints
When the checkmark just doesn't fit the box
And our expectations weigh like chains on the children we so claim to love
They are slaves
To the 9 to 5 domestic gods that clash like thunder every night
Too absorbed in their own fight
To see the fear inside your eyes
Slowly wearing down the fire in your soul
With the grit of their need for control
Teaching you how to be the best version of them
The one they didn't have the guts to master on their own
Abandoning the flower children with the starry eyes
They once claimed spoke their deepest truths
Trading in the wild spirit in their currency exchange
For your future
So they can be so comfortable on their thrones
While they forward the blame to a new address
The hordes of walking dead they left behind
Carrying the consequences
Rejecting all the that we were handed
Gaslight me on fire again
So I can shoulder all the hate that tried to smother my spark
Like your right to be comfortable trumps my right to be here
I didn't ask for this
So when you call me by my new name
Remember all the times you tried to tame me
All the times you defamed me
While telling me stories of a God of endless love
You can't take the perfect mess that you've created
And make a masterpiece, because I am one
We are made of star stuff
And I'll be ****** if I deny the perfect love I was promised
just because for once you didn't get what you wanted
Was to worry what other people thought of me
The worst thing to tell a child with anxiety
At the time I didn't know that it was wrong of me
To accept the burden of responsibility
For strangers who only saw a part of me
I shouldn't have put them before the thought of me
I didn't know it would be the lobotomy
That kept me hiding in my room for 10 long years
I didn't know it would ****** my autonomy
That you can't fake it 'til you make it if your introspection is an autopsy
That you can't **** a part of your soul
With whiskey or with *******
With bleach or box cutters
With street drugs, with a blind eye
Jesus loves all of the little children
And the church loves all its little saints
But when we express our love not with words but with paints
When the checkmark just doesn't fit the box
And our expectations weigh like chains on the children we so claim to love
They are slaves
To the 9 to 5 domestic gods that clash like thunder every night
Too absorbed in their own fight
To see the fear inside your eyes
Slowly wearing down the fire in your soul
With the grit of their need for control
Teaching you how to be the best version of them
The one they didn't have the guts to master on their own
Abandoning the flower children with the starry eyes
They once claimed spoke their deepest truths
Trading in the wild spirit in their currency exchange
For your future
So they can be so comfortable on their thrones
While they forward the blame to a new address
The hordes of walking dead they left behind
Carrying the consequences
Rejecting all the that we were handed
Gaslight me on fire again
So I can shoulder all the hate that tried to smother my spark
Like your right to be comfortable trumps my right to be here
I didn't ask for this
So when you call me by my new name
Remember all the times you tried to tame me
All the times you defamed me
While telling me stories of a God of endless love
You can't take the perfect mess that you've created
And make a masterpiece, because I am one
We are made of star stuff
And I'll be ****** if I deny the perfect love I was promised
just because for once you didn't get what you wanted
Written Mar 15 2017
