loving you in twelve year old cars
soft kisses in the front seats
a dent in the passenger side door
your backpack in the back seat

paint lingering underneath fingernails
achy joints
i love art
does art love me?

my friends are all ghosts
i see them
we laugh and we love
illusions shatter after too long

i drive you home at 1 AM
i can barely keep my eyes open on the way home
your love is thrumming through my body
and my gaslight is on

i get a little bit reckless when i’m on the road alone
breathing is just easier with one hand on the steering wheel
in, out. in, out.
this year is hard

i’m up to my neck in responsibilities
is this what growing up is like?
i want to sit down
close my eyes

planes fly above me and i feel a sense of longing
i’m already made of metal
wind me up and watch me go
i’m ready to fly

i have never felt heavier
my head weighs a ton and my neck is made of straw
i want to live in between the bricks
i want to go home