In deep honesty, I know that you keep to yourself. That no one really knows you except the few you deem worthy. How I envy their knowledge of you. Those hidden idiosyncrasies that reveal the secrets to how you smile so big. I wait another day, seeing your face in reflection. Reaching out to touch you. Risking the chance that you'll disappear before my hand touches your shoulder. How I envy their knowledge of you. Believing the impossible. A steady faucet that spews with the press of a lever. I decided to stand still, realizing that I was standing on the wrong side of the sink. Left dry, hearing only the sound of your laughter. How I envy their knowledge, knowing exactly where to stand when you rain affection. The taste of ****** food, left stained. Not much room to move. Collected in an empty sink. The clatter of spoons, forks, butter knives, and plates without so much as a cup. I must admit. I envy their knowledge of you as I am left here stale, without cause. Seeking you to cleanse me in purpose