I come to write whenever I need to let out.
Sometimes I feel so trapped in this chaotic world,
Constantly filling up and never pouring out.
I've dated a boy for two years.
He was to take away the pain of him.
He was suppose to be temporary.
A sweet man he evolved into; nothing like him.
He pursues me truly, not like him.
He is consistent, not like him.
He loves sweetly-never fighting & always patient, not like him.
He isn't dangerous. Not like him.
ive read about bad-boys.
My heart always craved for one.
Someone to take me away from the safe-zone I've always felt; someone different.
Perhaps that's why I fell so hard in love with "him" years ago.
Perhaps that's why I still find glimpses of the sadness from losing "him" on the lonely nights.
But then I look at the one my heart truly loves.
I've found that love isn't a feeling, as much as that bad boy in my adolescence made me feel.
To see a man choose me in every way.
To see a man be patient in waiting, in pursuing, and guarding my heart.
To see a man sacrifice his own desires for mine constantly.
To see a man believe in me.
To see a man provide.
To see a man who loves.
Is far more beautiful than the emotional confliction I called "love" in my younger years.
ive found a man who has truly taught me to love.
And for that, I am surrendering my past and pressing on to the future.
For I believe in a love, the kind I thought didn't exist, to continue breaking me, molding me, and changing me.
To love I owe it all.