I come to write whenever I need to let out. Sometimes I feel so trapped in this chaotic world, Constantly filling up and never pouring out.
I've dated a boy for two years. He was to take away the pain of him. He was suppose to be temporary. A sweet man he evolved into; nothing like him. He pursues me truly, not like him. He is consistent, not like him. He loves sweetly-never fighting & always patient, not like him. He isn't dangerous. Not like him.
ive read about bad-boys. My heart always craved for one. Someone to take me away from the safe-zone I've always felt; someone different. Perhaps that's why I fell so hard in love with "him" years ago. Perhaps that's why I still find glimpses of the sadness from losing "him" on the lonely nights.
But then I look at the one my heart truly loves. I've found that love isn't a feeling, as much as that bad boy in my adolescence made me feel. To see a man choose me in every way. To see a man be patient in waiting, in pursuing, and guarding my heart. To see a man sacrifice his own desires for mine constantly. To see a man believe in me. To see a man provide. To see a man who loves. Is far more beautiful than the emotional confliction I called "love" in my younger years.
ive found a man who has truly taught me to love. And for that, I am surrendering my past and pressing on to the future. For I believe in a love, the kind I thought didn't exist, to continue breaking me, molding me, and changing me. To love I owe it all.