I never know what to say when people ask me what I fear the most. Because yes, spiders are gross and weird and yes, ghosts terrify me, but how could I explain that at night instead of nightmares filled with monsters, mine are just of someone walking away? how can I say that I stay awake going over everything wrong I’ve ever done? how can I tell them that my biggest fear is me not being good enough? All my life i’ve worried too much about what people think about me, and lately i’ve gotten better at not thinking about it so much, but there is someone in my life right now that I really don’t want to lose, and I’m scared. I’m scared because I know I mess up a lot, I know that I get repetitive and boring and I ramble when I’m nervous. So how am I supposed to say that I know my constant asking for reassurance that they want me in their life gets tiresome, but it's because its hard for me to imagine that someone actually would? How do I explain that I have never loved myself enough, so the thought of anyone else loving me seems so strange? I am bad at expressing myself, I either show too much emotion or too little, and I'm scared that that's a good enough reason for someone to walk away.