My thoughts pushed emotions out the window a long time ago
they whisper calculations about fall times
laugh about the ease with which they could push me out too
discuss other modes of my demise, suicide
The blade's not that far, a dose more, the car door...

But I don't want the summons they preach
i grit my teeth and force my eyes to the stars
when they tell me, 'soon you'll be gone'
turn on a nightlight when they go too dark
Run, corner to corner, with the fright of the marked

My thoughts and I stand across the arena
the two of us locked in a never-ending fight
but we called a momentary truce tonight
And in a rare epiphany
I realized
My thoughts are a beast separate from me

So who are you then?
I implore them

You invaders of my head,
who want something so different than I?

And I,
if I'm not you, then

What the hell am I?

They never answered me.