I had a dream of clouds of white
And alas,
all i've ever heard were my own screams in the night
I have too much sadness for my own body,
even though I had to live with the label 'fat'
Ironically, I have outgrown this marking
Only to make more on my wrist
I call myself selfish because I cry when people take a left turn
when all I ever wanted was for things to go right for me

I had a dream I was in Paris
With a love of mine I could never deny
But I find myself halfway across the world
Unable to talk to anybody without tripping over the manifestation of rejection, and fear,
because it has grown too big to be kicked to the sidewalk
like I have been

And still, these dreams are so far from reality, no matter how many I think of
None are like the life I live now
Not even close
I don't know
I don't know why my stories only have sad endings
But at least I have nothing to lose
Except the weight of the world on my shoulders.