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Oct 2016
My heart is pounding fast, but it only seems like the pitter-patter of rain.
Ignore the howling wind, and my sweaty palms clutching the leather steering-wheel.
Road lights flicker in the morning smog and I can feel my mind suddenly shift.
Once a friend but now a foe, that unwelcomed buzz rears in its ugly head.
I almost reach the finish line, but instead I am hit with empty excuses in place of my prize.
The scene fizzles out and I'm left standing on an empty street, shaking. The car keys still in my sweaty grasp.
My hair was unraveling from my sad-excuse-of-a-bun, but I breathe and imagine the way your fingers will nuzzle the worry away from my tresses.
My shirt is askew and its laces untied, I take another breath and picture it peaking out beneath your haphazardly strewn jacket.
It doesn't even matter that I think my pants are horrible, because I know they belong in a heap next to those hideous canvas shoes of yours.
I get in my car and ignore my aching back that hesitates against the uncomfortable seat.
I'm willing to shake hands with oversight, and declare compromise a friend.
It's because your bitterness is only outweighed by the sweetness of the nicks your teeth leave on my shoulder.
Your hesitancy is washed away by the method your eyes fix on our bare reflection.
The loneliness of your silence is snuffed out by the heat of your callouses pressed against my ribs.
I can keep counting and recounting each touch, hiss, sigh, bruise and smile.
The way your arms encircled me before I hesitantly left the sanctuary where you wrecked me all those nights, it numbs the distance I'm left with.
It leaves me terrified of its absence; and the inevitable soreness your memories will leave behind.
Yasmeen Hamzeh
Written by
Yasmeen Hamzeh  F/Jordan
(F/Jordan)   
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