Sep 2016
When did it start?
When words fell upon deafened ears.
Honest sentiment was but a mirage
Kindness stripped and mangled within the shards of a broken mind
When did kidding myself that I am who I thought I was became an over bearing fantasy,
That life could treat me well
When I knew all along that the self deprecating reality of the world,
would show me I have nothing to offer
How did I allow myself to feel strength in self worth
Knowing the humiliation of being the joke to everyone's comedic stance;
On how to be human
How to be a man
How to be normal.
When did it start?
When love was something to fear
Fighting the self fulfilling prophecy of inevitable knowledge
That I will lose all that I hold with frayed heart strings.
I fear the day that they will all snap at once
When there will no longer be a safety net
When the only comfort I feel is the reality that in my fall, the darkness never ends
When words fell upon deafened ears.
Honest sentiment was but a mirage
Kindness stripped and mangled within the shards of a broken mind
When did kidding myself that I am who I thought I was became an over bearing fantasy,
That life could treat me well
When I knew all along that the self deprecating reality of the world,
would show me I have nothing to offer
How did I allow myself to feel strength in self worth
Knowing the humiliation of being the joke to everyone's comedic stance;
On how to be human
How to be a man
How to be normal.
When did it start?
When love was something to fear
Fighting the self fulfilling prophecy of inevitable knowledge
That I will lose all that I hold with frayed heart strings.
I fear the day that they will all snap at once
When there will no longer be a safety net
When the only comfort I feel is the reality that in my fall, the darkness never ends
I guess this is the first time I have written honestly about issues that have followed me throughout my life. I was inspired to let them out by someone very special to me, who has reminded me that it is ok to feel like this, who has reassured me that there is light, someone who gives me hope. I could never thank that person enough.
