Spoken Word Poetry

The words just don't come together
I choke.
And it's easier for me to think
If I'm not really looking.
But instead
If I just keep to myself
With my head down low
Everything seems to work.
Time passes by
Rather than this stagnant space I'm used to
Where I can feel myself  letting you down.

It's horrible,  truly
A dull ache in my heart that is always there.
The steady beat of disappointment
Not. Good. Enough.
Not. Good. Enough.
Not. Good. Enough.

But I am O.K
In lots of ways.
Just the ways that are not conventional.
Or useful. Well,
Not to you anyway.
I know I have a beauty in me somewhere.
Just the words don't come together
I choke.
And it's easier for me to think
If I'm not really looking.
But instead
If I just keep to myself
With my head down low
Everything seems to work.
Time passes by
Rather than this stagnant space I'm used to
Where I can feel myself letting you down.

It's horrible, truly
A dull ache in my heart that is always there.
The steady beat of disappointment
Not. Good. Enough.
Not. Good. Enough.
Not. Good. **Enough.